“…When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”
– Paulo Coelho
I came across this standalone version of a larger quote while reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, and it’s the one I use in my bio on the Blue Wagon Group website. I didn’t buy it at first. It sounded too self-improvement-y. Too neat. It took some time before it really resonated with me.
Last year, I was let go from a job I really liked as part of a reduction in force. It sucked, and it was not at all what I had planned. But the layoff opened a door I probably wouldn’t have walked through otherwise. It gave me the chance to try something different, and I got the opportunity to do consulting work with Blue Wagon Group. Looking back, I’m grateful to Nancy Mayes and the team for giving me that stretch. It wasn’t part of my plan, but they gave someone in flux a real shot. Eventually I ended up back where I started, in public health communications. Same field, just a different perspective this time.
That’s when the quote started to make more sense. Public health communications is about helping people make sense of difficult information and giving them what they need to get through challenging moments. I’d spent years writing that kind of messaging for others, with little of my own experience to draw on. This past year gave me some, and it changed how I think about the work. I didn’t come out a completely different person, and I didn’t land on some new dream career. I came out more resilient. That’s really it. And I’d like to think that the resilience will stick around with me for many years to come.
Most people stop at the first half of that quote. You get better; that’s the win. But the second half is the part I think about more: everything around us becomes better too. I’m not sure I’m a better listener now. What I’d say is I’m more empathetic. When someone mentions a layoff or a job search that’s dragging on, it lands differently now than it used to. Before, I would’ve felt bad for someone. Now I feel it with them.
That’s probably the real point of the quote. Going through something hard changes how you show up for other people going through their own version of it, whether that’s your intention or not.
It shows up in my work now. When I’m writing something meant to communicate a difficult message, I have a better sense of how it feels on the other end. No training can teach that. It just comes from going through it yourself.
I think Paulo was onto something.